Your Own Worst Enemy

I’ve always hated that expression – “You are your own worst enemy.” I think Calvin and Hobbs or someone like that said “We have met the enemy and it is us.” However you say it, the message is that you don’t need to look any further than the mirror to see why things aren’t going the way you want them to go.

The great news is that it’s nothing to beat yourself up about. The really great news is that YOU CAN CHANGE IT! If you resonate with this topic and you haven’t read The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix, consider getting that book and reading it! It is a quick and easy read and packed full of information that will have you saying “Oh… so THAT’S why I do that…” and “This sounds simple enough for me to change.” It’s a book of hope and action.

Are you ready for that??

If you’ve ever had things go really, really well for you, then all of a sudden take a turn for the worst, this is a topic that might benefit you. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you get out of something bad, things start going great, then you turn back to the bad situation again, you might want to consider doing a little work around this topic.

Whatever you do, don’t give up hope (unless you really really want to.). These things are possible to change if you are willing to take an active role in your life to change them. Remember, if the problem is being created by the person you see in the mirror, that means that no one else will magically take it away without your agreement and participation. You don’t have to do it alone. Help is available whenever you’re ready to allow it in.

You. Are. Worth. It.

After a Long Winter’s Nap…

Has anyone else noticed this? I feel in many ways like I’ve been on a Universe-imposed internal retreat. The things that are happening in my life right now are stirring up old memories and letting me know where there are things I still need to let go of. Yes, this is definitely a time of letting go. Here in North Carolina, we’ve had the opportunity to experience weather conditions we haven’t had in a while. They’ve reminded me of the amount of energy I put into things I have absolutely no control over.

Really, what good is it to worry about whether we will have snow or ice? Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be prepared – to have food and water and a plan. Beyond that, we are wasting our energy.

When we get clear on what is ours to do and what is the Universe’s to do, everything – and I mean everything – changes. Where is your faith? Do you have any? Do you have faith that everything will be ok and that you will handle the things as they come to you? OR do you have faith that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong? (If you’re talking about the latter, that’s where your faith is.)

What are you afraid of? I was watching “The American President” during the time I was snowed in. Michael Douglas as Andrew Shepherd, the President, said “I was so busy trying to keep my job that I forgot to do my job.” Do you ever feel like sometimes you’re so busy trying to stay safe and control the logistics of your life that you forget to actually LIVE it?

Now is the time to dust of your dancing shoes and let go of everything that is no longer serving you – from a sweater you love that has seen better days and needs to move on to your fear of snow. Let go of relationships that are no longer serving you. One of my friends said “I have decided that I’m not wearing anything that I don’t feel fabulous in.” Are you ready to make that commitment to yourself? Are you ready to reclaim your body and your life and to make the absolute BEST you can make of it?

It’s time! What are you waiting for?

If you cringed when you read that, think about making a list of what you’re waiting for – why is this not the time for you? Do you feel that everything needs to be resolved in your life first? Are you worthy of having what you want? Does someone in your family – spouse, mother, child – or your circle of friends want you to continue to be the doormat for them? If so, what would your life look like without that person? Go a step further and look at what your life might look like with a completely loving and supportive person in that person’s place.

Suspend your fear and do this exercise as if you can change everything you’d like to change. You can’t change other people, but you can let those people go and get new people who embody the qualities you want in a friend or mate.

Put it all down on paper – bring it out into the light and see what’s in there holding you back. When you see it for yourself or you talk to someone and hear out loud the reasons that you are still playing small, sometimes that helps you to see how it made sense swirling around in your head, but out in the open, it sounds ridiculous.

Put your ratty old victim energy in the throw away box, and pull on your warm, fuzzy outfit of self love and empowerment. You deserve it. It is time to change what you believe is possible. Really, it is.

Honoring Another’s Path

This has been a huge year for me with regard to honoring the paths that others have chosen to take. I like to think of myself as being completely supportive and honoring of whatever someone else chooses to do. Some things that have come to light over the year have made me realize that I’ve been happy to support the path as long as it’s what I think they should do, when I think it should be done, and in the manner in which I think it should be done. Are you kidding me?

That sounds a lot more like trying to control the situation than it sounds like unconditional support, doesn’t it?

Herein lies the problem. When we honor another’s path, it means that we honor all of the parts of the path. We don’t even have to support it if we don’t want to. But what we do have to do is release all energetic attachment to it. If it bothers us, makes us mad, sad, resentful or feeling left out, those are indications that we are not really honoring someone else’s path. They are also indications that we’re trying to make someone else’s journey all about us. It’s not about us. It’s about them.

What I’ve found is that when I’m unable to honor another’s path, I generally have some things about my own path that I’m unwilling to look at or address. I never focus on what other people are doing when I feel comfortable with what I’m doing.

That’s not a reason to beat myself up, it’s simply a wake up call for me to look at where I’m out of alignment with myself. Yep, myself.

Can you relate to this, or am I the only one who does this?

The most wonderful time of the year

Thanksgiving has now passed. Did you give thanks for everything that has happened in your life, regardless of whether you perceived it to be “good” or “bad”? If not, that’s ok. The more we “get” that everything that happens makes us what we are, the more we are able to appreciate everything that happens. We always have the opportunity to shift the energy we’re putting out, which allows us to shift what we’re seeing and experiencing in life. So, we can change what we get. Are you up for that?

Now, we’ve moved into the official holiday season. Holiday decorations have been up in some places since BEFORE Halloween, so we should be getting used to the idea. This is the time of year, probably more than any other time, when the stories we tell about why things don’t work for us kick into full gear. All of our family stuff floats up to the surface. Our fears about money and relationships abound. And, we often find ourselves giving up ourselves to please everyone and make this time really special for others. To all of that I say BAH HUMBUG!

This year, you can begin a process of making time for yourself and of eliminating all of the traditions that don’t feel good to you. You can stop overspending and get more in alignment with who you are and what you want. You can stop buying things for people out of obligation. You can stop going places out of obligation. And you can start showing yourself that you love YOU by creating new traditions that you feel aligned with.

If that idea sounds nice, but you’re not sure whether it’s possible or not, stick around. We will explore it in more detail over the next few weeks.

De-cluttering and Uncovering Truth

As the new year quickly approaches, I find myself wanting to let go of a lot of the baggage I’ve been carrying around. The interesting thing is that I’m running into all sorts of other people who are feeling the same way. It really is time to let go of the stories and beliefs and blocks that we’ve been hanging onto for ages – maybe for this whole lifetime and beyond!

Can you feel it? It’s your true self, longing to play big. It’s ready. It’s BEEN ready for a long time as you’ve been in your self discovery process. You feel like you have more discovering to do, but it’s chomping at the bit to GO!

Here’s where you can do yourself a huge favor. Start to take a look at what you’re ready to let go of once and for all. Is it the story about you being overweight when you haven’t been overweight for years? Is it the story that you let everyone down when you flunked out of school? Is it the story that you didn’t take dance when you wanted to and now it’s too late?

Are you ready to change what you believe is possible for yourself? If so, are you willing to let go of those old clothes (both literally and figuratively) that don’t fit you properly, that don’t look good on you, and that don’t make you feel marvelous when you wear them?

If so, say a resounding YES! out loud to the Universe and begin to feel the clutter melting away.

For the things that you feel really attached to still, you may want to spend some time considering whether to keep them or toss them. You can look at them and ask yourself why you want to hang on to them. Seek the Truth of why you want to keep the things that you’ve outgrown. Look past the stories for the Highest Truth. Once you’ve discovered how those things are serving you, you can make an informed decision about whether to let go of them or not.

It’s your choice. It’s your life. There is no wrong answer.

If you’re having a challenge getting rid of the physical clutter, work on the internal clutter. If you’re avoiding the internal clutter, try going through the physical clutter. Either way, you are opening up space in your energy field and in your life.

And wouldn’t it be wonderful to start the new year off much lighter?

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That old stuff again???

Have you noticed that recently you’ve had things from your past crop up again? I’m talking about the things that you thought were over, finished, complete, done with? Lately, I’ve had many opportunities to revisit other times in my history. Recent events have been occurring that have brought back all sorts of memories, from my first year in college to my parents’ old house, to a couple of car accidents I had years ago. If you’ve had things like this happen to you, don’t despair!

It is my understanding that these events, moments, flashes of “old home week”, are coming to us to enable us to fully let them go. They are indicators that something in our energy field is still hanging onto memories from another time that are not serving us. It’s not that every memory about the time isn’t of service, more that there are some issues from “back then” that still hold some of your life-force energy. They may be preventing you from moving forward in the way you’re wanting to move forward.

I like to think of it as if I’m in a trapeze act in the circus. The old stuff is tied to the trapeze you’re currently holding on to. In order to make the smooth transition to the new trapeze, you must let go of the old one. Hanging onto both is not recommended unless you have really strong shoulders or a really cushy net! And even if you have a cushy net, do you really want to stop the journey and start all over right here in the middle of it? Especially when the next trapeze is probably the one where you’ll have the most fun and excitement and abundance and happiness you’ve ever had?

I want to move with grace and ease to the next trapeze. So… I release what comes up for me to release in a way that is most appropriate for me. We’ll be doing a little of this at my workshop on December 13 at Dancing Moon Books and Gifts in Raleigh, NC. I’ll be releasing and cleansing in a different way with Diana Henderson on December 20 at Dancing Moon also. We’d love to have you join us!

If you can’t join us, but you’re ready to let go of the things that are energetically linking you back to your past in a way that you are ready to release, begin by increasing your awareness that you are connected to the universal energy of the Divine or to all that is. Focus your awareness on events that have come up recently that remind you of a past experience or event. Look back at the original event with the intention of identifying beliefs or feelings that you may still have about that event. You may feel anger, fear, abandonment. You may feel like a victim. You may feel completely powerless. You may feel intense sadness and disappointment. You may believe that you deserved whatever happened to you. You may have taken on responsibility for something that you didn’t cause.

Whatever the feelings are, take note of them. It helps me to write as I’m exploring, but you do what works for you. (That way, I don’t have to try to remember everything.) Once you’ve identified the feelings or beliefs, explore how you feel about them today. Determine whether you are ready to release them right now. As you consider whether you’re ready, think about how those beliefs or feelings are serving you today. Do they allow you to play small and safe? Do they enable you to avoid making changes you know you need to make? Do they make you feel powerful because your anger is so strong that it drives you to be more today? Determine what is true for you. Ask yourself “is this the highest truth?” Intend that you are able to see the absolute truth if you are ready to do that.

Next, determine how you want to feel. Perhaps you’d like to neutralize the whole event by severing energetic ties to it. You might want to feel love and peace rather than anger and sadness, so forgiveness might be in order. (Remember to forgive yourself as well as anyone else.) You might want to change completely how you view the event and be able to look at it as a gift, rather than a terrible event you can never recover from. It’s up to you how you want to feel. There is no right or wrong answer.

Then, if you are ready to cut the energetic cords that are binding you to these non-serving feelings or beliefs, write or speak out loud “I am ready to cut the energetic cords that bind me to this event for my highest good and for the good of all.” Do this three times. Notice if you have reservations before or during the process. If you do, take a look at what you’re uncomfortable with. If you’re ready, now visualize the non-serving energetic cords that are attached to you and the event being severed, dissolving, going up in flames – whatever works for you to ensure that you know you have released them. As the cords are severed, see the entire situation, including yourself, being covered by the pink light of unconditional love, the green light of healing, the violet light to cleanse karma, and the white light of the Divine. See the light go in, around and through everyone and everything involved. Feel the peace.

If you don’t feel the peace, ask yourself what is still there that you are holding onto. Use that information to begin the process again.

Best of luck! It is my goal to enter into 2010 with less baggage. The new rules in LIFE are just like the new airline policies: it now costs a lot to carry a lot of baggage with you when you travel!!

What is your unique gift?

I know a lot of people who are searching to understand their purpose and identify the gift that is uniquely theirs to express in the world. Sometimes this journey can be frustrating and painful, leading us to the point where we begin to question whether we will ever know our purpose.

What if we simply take comfort in knowing that there is something that is uniquely ours to give? And what if knowing that is all that matters? It might allow us to move through our days and our lives with less judgment toward ourselves. Wouldn’t it be easier to know that every single thing that you do or experience is in service to your expression of your unique gift? Everything that happens is necessary for you to bring about the nuances of your uniqueness.

The reality is that we couldn’t be who we are now if we hadn’t been who we were then. And we can’t give our gift if we aren’t who we are now and even who we are becoming. It is all perfect. All of it. Every single piece. From the burnt dinner to the spot on your sweater that makes you feel compassion rather than judgment for someone else who has a spot on their sweater. From the 5-minute rant about how your television provider has called for the 10th time to find out why you canceled your service to the wiping away of a tear from the face of a child. Or from the face of an adult. Or from your own face.

All of it… every part is good. And when we appreciate all the parts of us, we open ourselves to appreciate all the parts of others. When we do that, the world changes, and it changes radically. Breath by breath. Action by action. Thought by thought. Touch by touch. Every single energetic impulse changes the course of the world. And every single energetic impulse begins inside of us.

So, don’t spend any more time wondering if some day you will change the world. You already have. And you do, and you will. Always. With every thought you think. Know that when you think your thoughts with the intention of bringing love and light and goodness to the world, it makes a difference. Know that when you focus your attention on bringing your uniqueness into the world in its fullest measure, that’s exactly what comes through.

Every fear you work through is a fear someone else can work through more easily because you have already done it once. Every baby step you take is a baby step someone else can take also. Every time you forgive someone, it is easier for someone else to forgive. And when you play big in the world, it lets everyone else know that it’s ok for them to play big.

And when all of the things that you do are put together, they form the gift of you.

Thank you for your gift. Now, would you like to super-size that?