Healing the World Starts with Me

Over the course of the past several years, I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to many different things that all fall under the category of “Healing”. Some of them have been health care related, others have been more on a spiritual level. The takeaway for me in all of it is this: I am responsible for my own healing.

I am responsible for making sure my car is running and in safe condition. Fortunately, for everyone who drives around the Research Triangle area, that doesn’t mean that I have to actually perform repairs on the car myself! What it means is that I am responsible for choosing a reliable mechanic that I trust to work on my car. I decide when to take it in, considering recommendations from the mechanic or the auto manufacturer. I decide what work I will authorize them to do – I decline some things they offer if I don’t feel those are necessary at that time. I decide when the car will be cleaned and who will clean it. I honor its need for gas and fill it up when it tells me it can go around 65 more miles before it runs out of gas.

In all of these events, I determine whether I feel like I’m getting appropriate value for my money, whether I trust the people who are doing the work, and whether I feel good about how my car is being taken care of. I can only judge the work they do by the performance of the car. If work is done and the car runs worse, I take it back in. If the mechanic consistently takes longer than planned to do the work or charges more than the estimate consistently – every time – I find a new mechanic.

Our healing is the same way. Years ago, we were planning to take my great aunt out for her birthday. She declined to go that day because she had a doctor’s appointment and she said “I won’t know how I feel until I get back from that.”

Sometimes, it seems that we have lost sight of the fact that our healing is our responsibility. Who else could manage it and coordinate it better than we can? We are the only ones who know whether things feel like they’re working properly. We can tell whether the solution we’ve tried has made a difference or not. We know how we feel. As with my car, I may not feel qualified to actually do the healing myself – whether traditional or alternative, mental, emotional, physical or spiritual – but I do have the responsibility to seek out the help and care that I need.

Around 7 years ago, I had a physician who attributed every ailment I had to my weight. I was around 100 lbs overweight when I started seeing her. My assumption was that she had my best interest at heart, and I could certainly see how some of the issues I raised were weight-related. After I had been on my food plan for some time, I went to see her with a sore knee, and she told me it was related to my weight. She was surprised when I told her I had lost 60 lbs since the last time I saw her, even though her staff weighed me each time, and each time she harped on my weight. I was over half way to my goal, and she hadn’t bothered to compare my last weight to my current weight.

You know where I’m going with this, right? That was my last visit with her. I found a new doctor who really viewed me as a person and who was aware of what was going on with me. That’s something we should do with every person who takes care of us as much as we are able to. If you have a belief that there’s no one out there who cares about you, look to see if YOU care about yourself. If you do, know that you are worthy of having caring people take care of you – whether it’s your physician, your massage therapist, your chiropractor, your oncologist, your surgeon, your energy healer, your manicurist, or your minister.

You deserve to have every person in your life be someone who has your best interest at heart. If you don’t have that, fire the person you have, and get another one! When you acknowledge that you are the person in charge, and that it’s your job to ensure you find the best people to do the work that you can’t do yourself, you can shed the victim energy and really put yourself in a place to heal.

Even if you don’t know where the best person to help you will come from, continue to focus on what you want, how you want to be treated, and that person will show up! I also used to have a primary care doctor who was focused on the mind-body-spirit connection. Nice, huh? It was nice, except that the focus started once the doctor came into the exam room. I routinely waited 30 minutes to an hour after my appointment time to be seen. (The 3 times I went if you can call that routine.) The third visit, after waiting an hour, I left just before the doctor was ready to see me because I had something else I needed to do. For me, a focus on the whole person includes how long they sit in your waiting room. The more I took a stand about what I would and would not accept, the more I have gotten exactly what I want. I didn’t make a big fuss about it, I simply voted with my feet.

We are powerful when we take ownership. We don’t have to make a scene, tell anyone off, whine and gripe to anyone; all we need to do is stay focused on what we want and how we want to be treated and keep moving toward that until we have it.

Sometimes, being in charge of getting the best person to help you means that you will need to make a choice that is outside of something your insurance covers. When you’re making those decisions, always consider the time and energy that you put into all of the visits and tests and waiting for things that are covered. If you can’t just make the decision you’re worth it, which is difficult for some people, really weigh the time, money, energy and results (rather than simply the money) and make a choice that is the best one for you. Remember, you are in charge!

Many years ago, I was seeing a chiropractor 3 times a week for an issue with my lower back. I could barely get out to my car some days before my back was “out” again. He was on my insurance plan, so I only paid a co-payment to see him. I had another chiropractor who I saw for some nutritional work (supplements, food allergies), but didn’t go to her for my back because she had a cash only practice. When my first chiro was out of town for the Super Bowl, I needed to go to my second chiro for an adjustment. She adjusted my back and told me that I should come back in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS? She said I could come before that if I needed to. I didn’t need to. I found out that by going to her, instead of the other one, my back problem got resolved AND it cost me less than 2/3 what I was paying in copayments to the other one.

All of this to say that it’s not all cut and dried. If you pay attention to what’s going on and make sure that you’re getting what you want and being treated the way you want to be treated, you can rest assured that whatever issues you’re dealing with will resolve more quickly!

You deserve to have the best person in charge of your healing. YOU!

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