For many of us, for most of our lives, we have been conditioned to stay in the lines. Sometimes, that makes creating outside of the lines a more challenging endeavor. It doesn’t have to be if you keep the principles of the law of attraction in mind. All you have to do is decide what you want and allow it in. The Universe comes up with the how and implements it. Since the Universe has a lot more experience with possibility than we are aware we do, it’s not impossible, or even difficult, for the Universe to do its part.

But we have to allow. Ask. Allow.

Is our fear that the Universe won’t bring us what we want? If that happens, it’s probably because we weren’t specific about what we wanted. (Like asking someone to get soup at the grocery store – did you want vegetable, chicken and rice, clam chowder?) So, we get something that’s almost what we want, but not entirely. We can accept that and decide not to bother the Universe any more or we can ASK AGAIN.

The Universe wants us to have whatever we want. Period. But it can’t give us what we want unless we ask. And it can’t be exactly what we want unless we keep clarifying.

What are the things that are stopping you from playing this way? Fear of change is probably the biggest reason. We don’t fear change itself. We fear that things will get worse. Guess what happens when we hold that energy?? We invite things to get worse.

I’ve had some amazing experiences lately where I suspended my disbelief and asked for what I really wanted with no idea of how it might show up and *POOF* it showed up in an amazing way. (OK, there was no *POOF*, but it happened really fast!)

What if you released the blocks that are keeping you from asking and allowing in everything you want in your life and instead, you embraced every single change in your world? Don’t even decide if it’s good or bad, but just assume that it’s taking you where you WANT to go. How would your life be different?

Say “Yes” now if you’d like to know the highest truth about what will happen. Then allow that knowing to come to you.

The great news is that it’s nothing to beat yourself up about. The really great news is that YOU CAN CHANGE IT! If you resonate with this topic and you haven’t read The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix, consider getting that book and reading it! It is a quick and easy read and packed full of information that will have you saying “Oh… so THAT’S why I do that…” and “This sounds simple enough for me to change.” It’s a book of hope and action.

Are you ready for that??

If you’ve ever had things go really, really well for you, then all of a sudden take a turn for the worst, this is a topic that might benefit you. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you get out of something bad, things start going great, then you turn back to the bad situation again, you might want to consider doing a little work around this topic.

Whatever you do, don’t give up hope (unless you really really want to.). These things are possible to change if you are willing to take an active role in your life to change them. Remember, if the problem is being created by the person you see in the mirror, that means that no one else will magically take it away without your agreement and participation. You don’t have to do it alone. Help is available whenever you’re ready to allow it in.

You. Are. Worth. It.

Really, what good is it to worry about whether we will have snow or ice? Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be prepared – to have food and water and a plan. Beyond that, we are wasting our energy.

When we get clear on what is ours to do and what is the Universe’s to do, everything – and I mean everything – changes. Where is your faith? Do you have any? Do you have faith that everything will be ok and that you will handle the things as they come to you? OR do you have faith that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong? (If you’re talking about the latter, that’s where your faith is.)

What are you afraid of? I was watching “The American President” during the time I was snowed in. Michael Douglas as Andrew Shepherd, the President, said “I was so busy trying to keep my job that I forgot to do my job.” Do you ever feel like sometimes you’re so busy trying to stay safe and control the logistics of your life that you forget to actually LIVE it?

Now is the time to dust of your dancing shoes and let go of everything that is no longer serving you – from a sweater you love that has seen better days and needs to move on to your fear of snow. Let go of relationships that are no longer serving you. One of my friends said “I have decided that I’m not wearing anything that I don’t feel fabulous in.” Are you ready to make that commitment to yourself? Are you ready to reclaim your body and your life and to make the absolute BEST you can make of it?

It’s time! What are you waiting for?

If you cringed when you read that, think about making a list of what you’re waiting for – why is this not the time for you? Do you feel that everything needs to be resolved in your life first? Are you worthy of having what you want? Does someone in your family – spouse, mother, child – or your circle of friends want you to continue to be the doormat for them? If so, what would your life look like without that person? Go a step further and look at what your life might look like with a completely loving and supportive person in that person’s place.

Suspend your fear and do this exercise as if you can change everything you’d like to change. You can’t change other people, but you can let those people go and get new people who embody the qualities you want in a friend or mate.

Put it all down on paper – bring it out into the light and see what’s in there holding you back. When you see it for yourself or you talk to someone and hear out loud the reasons that you are still playing small, sometimes that helps you to see how it made sense swirling around in your head, but out in the open, it sounds ridiculous.

Put your ratty old victim energy in the throw away box, and pull on your warm, fuzzy outfit of self love and empowerment. You deserve it. It is time to change what you believe is possible. Really, it is.

What’s keeping you from doing it?

My guess is that at least a part of it is that your impression of who you are is far from the truth about who you really are and what you are capable of. If you’re in the area and you wanna play with accessing your own inner gifts and removing blocks to doing that, be at Dancing Moon Books and Gifts in Raleigh, NC on Sunday, January 24. Click here for more information.

In the meantime, keep unloading all of that stuff you’ve been carrying around. You may even be experiencing revitalization of old hurts and resentments that you thought you were rid of. It’s time to let them go also. This is the time to let go of all of that old stuff. Wondering how to do that? Stay tuned.

The key to the weekend was pretending. Remember when you were a child and you could pretend anything? You didn’t have all of the restrictions that said “well, that would be good, but it’s not really possible” – you were UNLIMITED!

I will never forget the first time I watched my stepson play a driving video game. He was around 9 or 10. When I played the game, I was all about keeping the car on the road and not running into anything. When he played, he wanted to see what would happen if he ran the car into the building or into a tree or through a lake. The funny thing about it was that the video game was actually designed to reward you if you did some of those “off the wall” things. You got a shortcut by running into the building, extra points for driving in the lake, etc. It was my first view of how much the box made of rules was keeping me from exploring my true potential.

It reminds me of the huge life lesson I learned from Benjamin:

To beat the other guy in the video game, I didn’t have to fight him, I just went around him.

When we allow the rules that we have accepted as true to limit us, we are limiting our potential, our joy, our creativity, and our very life. Isn’t it time to take a look at what rules are running you? After the weekend, I’m re-visiting what’s around me.

Of course, some of the rules may still be important to you. You don’t have to change anything you don’t want to change, but it might be good to have an understanding of what’s there. If you don’t know how to look at what rules are keeping you in place, simply pretend that you know, and go from there.

Sometimes, we have the tendency to want to toss out everything – to clear the decks to make room for whatever is shiny and new. We can stay grounded and move forward by really examining what we love and what is no longer serving us in our lives. These things may include relationships, lines of work, hobbies, beliefs and other energy patterns, or even activities that we are taking part in or would like to be taking part in (exercise, spiritual practice, nutritional practice, etc.).

If you’re in the Raleigh/Durham, NC area, I’ll be offering a workshop on December 13 entitled Opening to 2010 – Leave Behind What’s No Longer Serving You. I’d love to see you there as we do a little holiday cleaning to get you ready for the shiny new year. We’re not looking to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It’s important to recognize and hang onto the things that are working that are in alignment with your plan for the new year.

If you can’t make the workshop, stay tuned for a teleclass that will be announced in the next week or so.

In the meantime, breathe, relax, and reflect on what makes your heart sing.

That sounds a lot more like trying to control the situation than it sounds like unconditional support, doesn’t it?

Herein lies the problem. When we honor another’s path, it means that we honor all of the parts of the path. We don’t even have to support it if we don’t want to. But what we do have to do is release all energetic attachment to it. If it bothers us, makes us mad, sad, resentful or feeling left out, those are indications that we are not really honoring someone else’s path. They are also indications that we’re trying to make someone else’s journey all about us. It’s not about us. It’s about them.

What I’ve found is that when I’m unable to honor another’s path, I generally have some things about my own path that I’m unwilling to look at or address. I never focus on what other people are doing when I feel comfortable with what I’m doing.

That’s not a reason to beat myself up, it’s simply a wake up call for me to look at where I’m out of alignment with myself. Yep, myself.

Can you relate to this, or am I the only one who does this?

Now, we’ve moved into the official holiday season. Holiday decorations have been up in some places since BEFORE Halloween, so we should be getting used to the idea. This is the time of year, probably more than any other time, when the stories we tell about why things don’t work for us kick into full gear. All of our family stuff floats up to the surface. Our fears about money and relationships abound. And, we often find ourselves giving up ourselves to please everyone and make this time really special for others. To all of that I say BAH HUMBUG!

This year, you can begin a process of making time for yourself and of eliminating all of the traditions that don’t feel good to you. You can stop overspending and get more in alignment with who you are and what you want. You can stop buying things for people out of obligation. You can stop going places out of obligation. And you can start showing yourself that you love YOU by creating new traditions that you feel aligned with.

If that idea sounds nice, but you’re not sure whether it’s possible or not, stick around. We will explore it in more detail over the next few weeks.

While you’re doing whatever you need to do (living your life) as your purpose unfolds and becomes clear to you, you can still move toward whatever you want to be or do or have. If it makes your heart sing, you can just about bet that it’s part of what you’re here to do! What if you got to the end and realized that your only purpose was to have fun and raise the vibration of those around you, therefore raising the vibration of the planet?

If you think about it, that’s a pretty amazing purpose.

What if your purpose was simply to give love and nurturing to YOURSELF and to model that for others? That purpose could solve world hunger!

As we move along our path, we sometimes get all hung up in knowing what our purpose is. Don’t get confused between your purpose and the carrying out of your purpose. Your purpose is likely to be a broad statement. You would never have a purpose that boxes you in, because that’s just not the way it works. The Universe is expansive. How you execute your purpose may be much more specific. You may focus on a specific group of people or a specific technique in the carrying out of your purpose, but that’s different from the actual purpose.

While you’re waiting for it to reveal itself to you, spend some time thinking about what makes your heart sing. What do you LOVE to do? What do you LOVE to share with others? Are there any things that are near and dear to your heart? (Animals, children, homeless people, the environment are just a few to get you started thinking) If you don’t know the answer to any of those questions, that’s ok. As you go through your days, ask yourself “do I love this?” Or as you ponder what you want your life to look like, ask “do I really want this? Or am I just saying that I want this because it’s what I think I’m supposed to say?”

Think about why you can’t or don’t do what makes your heart sing today. If you were given a message that whatever makes your heart sing is actually your life’s purpose, would you feel differently about why you can’t/don’t/won’t do it? Are you willing to work on removing barriers to your growth or progress in this area?

The answers are up to you. This is your story, your life, your path. But, what if your purpose looked completely different from what you think it should look like?

Wag more. Bark less.
Be more of a “plays well with others” type than a “runs with scissors” one.
Be nice to everyone.

What if it’s WAYYYYY easier than the way we’re trying to make it? How would you feel about that?

Because I didn’t have a lot of attachment to the game itself, I decided to take a step back and look at some of the dynamics of the experience.

First, people in my family were automatically on opposing sides, carrying that energy into all activities of the weekend. Of course, the energy was subdued for the most part. It flared up a little during the game and then a little after the game, but it was not nearly what it has been in other years.

Second, I brought desserts to the tailgate party. On my box of cupcakes, I added two little signs – both of them spoke about how these two teams had played “together” since 1899 and listed out some of the things the schools had in common. I did this to add a tangible reminder that we don’t have to be against each other – we can appreciate our similarities, rather than our differences.

Third, during the game, I noticed that fans around us vacillated between withdrawing their support with comments like “You should just quit. Go ahead and walk off the field now.” when the team made mistakes; to blaming the referees for what happened in the game – “aw, come on Ref, that was ridiculous”; to closely identifying with the amazing team when they scored or caught passes or did things well. They were quick to distance themselves when things weren’t going so well.

Fourth, a lot of the people who gathered in the energy of opposition did so in order to spend time with others eating and drinking heavily.

Fifth, sometimes, people walked by our parking spot and said mean things to people at our gathering, simply because of what was on the clothing that the person was wearing. It was interesting to see negative energy hurled at someone because of a perceived difference based on clothing.

Sixth, while some of the people were disappointed because of their team’s loss, they were also happy that the results turned out the way they did because some of the other people would have made life miserable with their comments and actions if the results had been reversed.

Seventh, and finally, all of this emotion was tied up in the performance of a group of college kids that they don’t even know. None of the people in my group threw a pass, catched a ball, called a play, or had anything to do with the immediate outcome of the game. (They had given money to the respective schools and a lot of time and energy to watching the teams play, but their actions minimally impacted the outcome.) Some of them realized this, others didn’t acknowledge that this thing they have virtually no impact on the outcome of the thing they have their energy tied up in, practically all year round.

For me this was a way for me to see some things about myself. I certainly have been right in that space where others were yesterday. I have also judged people by their clothing or their affiliations, not knowing anything about the person. I have been in more situations than I care to count when my energy started out in opposition to someone else in my family.

I’m not saying I’m better, believe me. I continue to learn about myself by watching the actions of others. And I am so grateful to have that opportunity. I know that some of the things I do that aren’t conscious are affecting me in ways that I would like to be more aware of. That makes me a better me and less attached to what other people do.

The interesting thing about the solidarity of a team is that there is nearly always something that the team is against. We love our team; we hate the other one. (That may be a strong word, but often it is true.) We saw that after September 11, 2001. We were “for” our team, the U.S.A., in a way we hadn’t been in a long time, and we were against all sorts of things, people, countries, religions that we perceived to be the opposing team.

It feels good to be collected together to be for something. My goal is to really work to not be against something else by default.