Honoring Another’s Path

This has been a huge year for me with regard to honoring the paths that others have chosen to take. I like to think of myself as being completely supportive and honoring of whatever someone else chooses to do. Some things that have come to light over the year have made me realize that I’ve been happy to support the path as long as it’s what I think they should do, when I think it should be done, and in the manner in which I think it should be done. Are you kidding me?

That sounds a lot more like trying to control the situation than it sounds like unconditional support, doesn’t it?

Herein lies the problem. When we honor another’s path, it means that we honor all of the parts of the path. We don’t even have to support it if we don’t want to. But what we do have to do is release all energetic attachment to it. If it bothers us, makes us mad, sad, resentful or feeling left out, those are indications that we are not really honoring someone else’s path. They are also indications that we’re trying to make someone else’s journey all about us. It’s not about us. It’s about them.

What I’ve found is that when I’m unable to honor another’s path, I generally have some things about my own path that I’m unwilling to look at or address. I never focus on what other people are doing when I feel comfortable with what I’m doing.

That’s not a reason to beat myself up, it’s simply a wake up call for me to look at where I’m out of alignment with myself. Yep, myself.

Can you relate to this, or am I the only one who does this?

The most wonderful time of the year

Thanksgiving has now passed. Did you give thanks for everything that has happened in your life, regardless of whether you perceived it to be “good” or “bad”? If not, that’s ok. The more we “get” that everything that happens makes us what we are, the more we are able to appreciate everything that happens. We always have the opportunity to shift the energy we’re putting out, which allows us to shift what we’re seeing and experiencing in life. So, we can change what we get. Are you up for that?

Now, we’ve moved into the official holiday season. Holiday decorations have been up in some places since BEFORE Halloween, so we should be getting used to the idea. This is the time of year, probably more than any other time, when the stories we tell about why things don’t work for us kick into full gear. All of our family stuff floats up to the surface. Our fears about money and relationships abound. And, we often find ourselves giving up ourselves to please everyone and make this time really special for others. To all of that I say BAH HUMBUG!

This year, you can begin a process of making time for yourself and of eliminating all of the traditions that don’t feel good to you. You can stop overspending and get more in alignment with who you are and what you want. You can stop buying things for people out of obligation. You can stop going places out of obligation. And you can start showing yourself that you love YOU by creating new traditions that you feel aligned with.

If that idea sounds nice, but you’re not sure whether it’s possible or not, stick around. We will explore it in more detail over the next few weeks.

What’s Your Purpose?

A lot of people seem to be stressed out about the fact that they are not clear on exactly what their purpose is. Relax. It’s ok to not have a purpose statement. Not having a nicely crafted purpose doesn’t have to put your life on hold unless you want it to. If you’re looking for an excuse to wait until later to live your best life, not being aware of your purpose would be a could stalling tactic.

While you’re doing whatever you need to do (living your life) as your purpose unfolds and becomes clear to you, you can still move toward whatever you want to be or do or have. If it makes your heart sing, you can just about bet that it’s part of what you’re here to do! What if you got to the end and realized that your only purpose was to have fun and raise the vibration of those around you, therefore raising the vibration of the planet?

If you think about it, that’s a pretty amazing purpose.

What if your purpose was simply to give love and nurturing to YOURSELF and to model that for others? That purpose could solve world hunger!

As we move along our path, we sometimes get all hung up in knowing what our purpose is. Don’t get confused between your purpose and the carrying out of your purpose. Your purpose is likely to be a broad statement. You would never have a purpose that boxes you in, because that’s just not the way it works. The Universe is expansive. How you execute your purpose may be much more specific. You may focus on a specific group of people or a specific technique in the carrying out of your purpose, but that’s different from the actual purpose.

While you’re waiting for it to reveal itself to you, spend some time thinking about what makes your heart sing. What do you LOVE to do? What do you LOVE to share with others? Are there any things that are near and dear to your heart? (Animals, children, homeless people, the environment are just a few to get you started thinking) If you don’t know the answer to any of those questions, that’s ok. As you go through your days, ask yourself “do I love this?” Or as you ponder what you want your life to look like, ask “do I really want this? Or am I just saying that I want this because it’s what I think I’m supposed to say?”

Think about why you can’t or don’t do what makes your heart sing today. If you were given a message that whatever makes your heart sing is actually your life’s purpose, would you feel differently about why you can’t/don’t/won’t do it? Are you willing to work on removing barriers to your growth or progress in this area?

The answers are up to you. This is your story, your life, your path. But, what if your purpose looked completely different from what you think it should look like?

Wag more. Bark less.
Be more of a “plays well with others” type than a “runs with scissors” one.
Be nice to everyone.

What if it’s WAYYYYY easier than the way we’re trying to make it? How would you feel about that?

Learnings from a College Football Game

I went to a college football game yesterday for the first time in several years. I didn’t go because I was so excited to go to football. I’m not a huge fan, although I have been in the past. I went because it was an opportunity to spend some time with my Dad, who was in town for the game. As a result, I got to spend time with my family and some friends for the day. That was a good thing.

Because I didn’t have a lot of attachment to the game itself, I decided to take a step back and look at some of the dynamics of the experience.

First, people in my family were automatically on opposing sides, carrying that energy into all activities of the weekend. Of course, the energy was subdued for the most part. It flared up a little during the game and then a little after the game, but it was not nearly what it has been in other years.

Second, I brought desserts to the tailgate party. On my box of cupcakes, I added two little signs – both of them spoke about how these two teams had played “together” since 1899 and listed out some of the things the schools had in common. I did this to add a tangible reminder that we don’t have to be against each other – we can appreciate our similarities, rather than our differences.

Third, during the game, I noticed that fans around us vacillated between withdrawing their support with comments like “You should just quit. Go ahead and walk off the field now.” when the team made mistakes; to blaming the referees for what happened in the game – “aw, come on Ref, that was ridiculous”; to closely identifying with the amazing team when they scored or caught passes or did things well. They were quick to distance themselves when things weren’t going so well.

Fourth, a lot of the people who gathered in the energy of opposition did so in order to spend time with others eating and drinking heavily.

Fifth, sometimes, people walked by our parking spot and said mean things to people at our gathering, simply because of what was on the clothing that the person was wearing. It was interesting to see negative energy hurled at someone because of a perceived difference based on clothing.

Sixth, while some of the people were disappointed because of their team’s loss, they were also happy that the results turned out the way they did because some of the other people would have made life miserable with their comments and actions if the results had been reversed.

Seventh, and finally, all of this emotion was tied up in the performance of a group of college kids that they don’t even know. None of the people in my group threw a pass, catched a ball, called a play, or had anything to do with the immediate outcome of the game. (They had given money to the respective schools and a lot of time and energy to watching the teams play, but their actions minimally impacted the outcome.) Some of them realized this, others didn’t acknowledge that this thing they have virtually no impact on the outcome of the thing they have their energy tied up in, practically all year round.

For me this was a way for me to see some things about myself. I certainly have been right in that space where others were yesterday. I have also judged people by their clothing or their affiliations, not knowing anything about the person. I have been in more situations than I care to count when my energy started out in opposition to someone else in my family.

I’m not saying I’m better, believe me. I continue to learn about myself by watching the actions of others. And I am so grateful to have that opportunity. I know that some of the things I do that aren’t conscious are affecting me in ways that I would like to be more aware of. That makes me a better me and less attached to what other people do.

The interesting thing about the solidarity of a team is that there is nearly always something that the team is against. We love our team; we hate the other one. (That may be a strong word, but often it is true.) We saw that after September 11, 2001. We were “for” our team, the U.S.A., in a way we hadn’t been in a long time, and we were against all sorts of things, people, countries, religions that we perceived to be the opposing team.

It feels good to be collected together to be for something. My goal is to really work to not be against something else by default.

Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover

Have you had things happen lately that appear to be horrible? I mean Chicken Little “the sky is falling” horrible? Relax! You are being invited to view these things differently.

It’s a little like the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz. Oz the Great and Powerful wasn’t really great and powerful after all. And perhaps, whatever your problem looks like (or series of “problems”), it probably isn’t as bad as it seems. I am not trying to diminish whatever you’re going through. Many of the things we’re having the opportunity to experience right now are in the category of what we would call “worst case scenario.”

But what if you chose to re-focus your attention to the things that are going well in your world right now rather than on the litany of things that seem to be going wrong?

In race car driving, one of the most obvious things to avoid is the wall, right? If you’ve ever watched NASCAR, you will find (and I’m not a race aficionado, so please, no letters about the details) that there’s a lot of wall on any given race track. So, if you’re traveling at high speeds, the wall is not what you want to run into.

I was at a Tony Robbins seminar many years ago in Maui where he talked about learning to drive a race car. Part of the challenge, he said, was that you go into it with the idea “Don’t hit the wall” – which of course focuses your attention on what? HITTING THE WALL. (Law of Attraction 101) He said that when he went out, there was an instructor in the passenger seat. As he began to increase his speed, the instructor started saying “Look at the track. Stop looking at the wall” because he couldn’t seem to take his focus off of the wall. Ultimately, the instructor ended up having to physically turn Tony’s head to focus on something other than the wall. Until that point, he was so focused on the wall that the car was headed straight into the wall. And that was a guy who understands and is an expert on the power of focus!

So back to your life. If you shift your focus toward what’s going right and really (this may sound crazy) ignore the badness of the bad stuff, you will see huge changes in what happens. When I say ignore the badness of the bad stuff, I mean that you should deal with what you have to deal with, but otherwise do not give the issue, person, occurrence any more of your energy than absolutely necessary. In fact, if you can, put yourself in a place of gratitude for everything else, for anything else. That will raise your vibration out of the low vibration of fear and enable you to even be grateful for the “bad” thing because it helped you to realize how much good you have in your life.

Sound ridiculous?

What if the purpose of the “bad” thing was to distract you or divert you from focusing your attention on what you really want to be doing, but perhaps you feel a little uncomfortable about taking your life to the next level? And what if it was YOUR energy that invited it so that you didn’t have to live in the biggest, most excellent way possible?

I promise you, I am not completely crazy. This is exactly what I’m experiencing in my own life right now. It has almost become comical. I am happy to report that I am now only freaking out for only a brief few moments before I’m able to re-focus. The power this has brought for me is indescribable! To know that the things that used to threaten me no longer threaten me. But more importantly, to know that all is really well, despite the illusion of scary Oz the Great and Powerful looming ahead. Look over to the left and see the little man behind the curtain and know that whatever it is, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be.

If you focus on the wall, you will hit the wall. If you focus on the road, you can drive along happily until you’re ready to stop.

There are no wrong answers. It’s your choice. Just remember you can make a different choice!

Shifting into New Energy!

Welcome to 11/11/11 (if you add the 2009 digits together, you get 11)! We have just passed the first 11:11:11 time of the day and have one more tonight.

What’s the big deal? I’m not well-versed on all of the meanings of this, but I do know that we are in the midst of a huge energy shift that seems to be asking us to get rid of the things that are no longer serving us. The new energy is lighter, thus, we need to be lighter energetically to be a vibrational match for it.

Are you ready to get rid of your stuff?? Chances are that you have had “get rid of my stuff” or something that looks like that on your list of things to do for quite some time. Now is the time to implement!!

Rather than this being something to dread or worry about, this is a time to rejoice. All we have to do is make the decision that we are ready to let go of our non-serving beliefs, stories, blocks, and even physical belongings. Then we take action to release these things. Simple, really.

If it makes you shudder, look at how you’re benefitting by holding onto your old stuff. I can guarantee you that you probably won’t need it one day. This new energy revolves around the idea that we are everything we need to be and we can manifest instantly whatever it is that we need. So, there’s no longer any need to carry around things “just in case.”

Sound scary? It’s not as bad as you think. Check out some of the things I have going on to help you shift out of the old and into the new at www.changewhatspossible.com/schedule/calendar-overview or sign up for my newsletter at the top right of this page to get more updates!

Finding Truth

Are you ready to allow more of big “T” Truth into your life to replace the little “t” truth you’ve been using to guide you? Here are a few steps you can use to make that shift.

First, seek Truth. This really means invite Truth to reveal itself to you. You don’t need to go anywhere to find Truth. It is always here. If Truth is what I’m looking for, I can find it. If I’m actively seeking to avoid the Truth, I create all sorts of drama, stories and intereference that keeps me occupied, but diverted form my original intention.

Second, deal with the issues that come up on this journey. When you have shifted into the mode of welcoming Truth, you may encounter resistance.

Third, be willing to allow the Truth to emerge in its own time if it is not ready to show itself. Forcing it or going after it will likely result in truth with a small “t”.

Fourth, validate what you find. If you are receiving what you believe to be true, ask if this is the Highest Truth. Often it will be a little “t” masquerading as a big “T”. You will know the difference if you wish to.

Fifth, accept the Truth and move along, embracing it. Allowing it to stop you in your tracks is not productive. Sometimes, what we find to be the Truth can be uncomfortable and not in alignment with how we have lived our lives up to now. Sit with it. Allow it in. Be willing to release the beliefs and blocks whose place this Truth replaces.

Sixth, surround yourself with others who are also seeking to align themselves more with Truth. It doesn’t even have to be people who believe exactly what you believe. Being around others on the same part of the journey is helpful. You will feel supported and may learn a lot from their insights. I often find that I can learn a lot from the experiences of others because I don’t have an attachment to their stuff. The lack of attachment makes it easier for me to see what’s going on and apply what I see to my own life.

Remember, however this happens for you is exactly perfect. There are no right answers when it comes to how you should embrace the Highest Truth. Your path is uniquely yours.

De-cluttering and Uncovering Truth

As the new year quickly approaches, I find myself wanting to let go of a lot of the baggage I’ve been carrying around. The interesting thing is that I’m running into all sorts of other people who are feeling the same way. It really is time to let go of the stories and beliefs and blocks that we’ve been hanging onto for ages – maybe for this whole lifetime and beyond!

Can you feel it? It’s your true self, longing to play big. It’s ready. It’s BEEN ready for a long time as you’ve been in your self discovery process. You feel like you have more discovering to do, but it’s chomping at the bit to GO!

Here’s where you can do yourself a huge favor. Start to take a look at what you’re ready to let go of once and for all. Is it the story about you being overweight when you haven’t been overweight for years? Is it the story that you let everyone down when you flunked out of school? Is it the story that you didn’t take dance when you wanted to and now it’s too late?

Are you ready to change what you believe is possible for yourself? If so, are you willing to let go of those old clothes (both literally and figuratively) that don’t fit you properly, that don’t look good on you, and that don’t make you feel marvelous when you wear them?

If so, say a resounding YES! out loud to the Universe and begin to feel the clutter melting away.

For the things that you feel really attached to still, you may want to spend some time considering whether to keep them or toss them. You can look at them and ask yourself why you want to hang on to them. Seek the Truth of why you want to keep the things that you’ve outgrown. Look past the stories for the Highest Truth. Once you’ve discovered how those things are serving you, you can make an informed decision about whether to let go of them or not.

It’s your choice. It’s your life. There is no wrong answer.

If you’re having a challenge getting rid of the physical clutter, work on the internal clutter. If you’re avoiding the internal clutter, try going through the physical clutter. Either way, you are opening up space in your energy field and in your life.

And wouldn’t it be wonderful to start the new year off much lighter?

For more information on upcoming workshops, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of this screen or check out the calendar page under “What’s Up” on the menu bar for this site.

That old stuff again???

Have you noticed that recently you’ve had things from your past crop up again? I’m talking about the things that you thought were over, finished, complete, done with? Lately, I’ve had many opportunities to revisit other times in my history. Recent events have been occurring that have brought back all sorts of memories, from my first year in college to my parents’ old house, to a couple of car accidents I had years ago. If you’ve had things like this happen to you, don’t despair!

It is my understanding that these events, moments, flashes of “old home week”, are coming to us to enable us to fully let them go. They are indicators that something in our energy field is still hanging onto memories from another time that are not serving us. It’s not that every memory about the time isn’t of service, more that there are some issues from “back then” that still hold some of your life-force energy. They may be preventing you from moving forward in the way you’re wanting to move forward.

I like to think of it as if I’m in a trapeze act in the circus. The old stuff is tied to the trapeze you’re currently holding on to. In order to make the smooth transition to the new trapeze, you must let go of the old one. Hanging onto both is not recommended unless you have really strong shoulders or a really cushy net! And even if you have a cushy net, do you really want to stop the journey and start all over right here in the middle of it? Especially when the next trapeze is probably the one where you’ll have the most fun and excitement and abundance and happiness you’ve ever had?

I want to move with grace and ease to the next trapeze. So… I release what comes up for me to release in a way that is most appropriate for me. We’ll be doing a little of this at my workshop on December 13 at Dancing Moon Books and Gifts in Raleigh, NC. I’ll be releasing and cleansing in a different way with Diana Henderson on December 20 at Dancing Moon also. We’d love to have you join us!

If you can’t join us, but you’re ready to let go of the things that are energetically linking you back to your past in a way that you are ready to release, begin by increasing your awareness that you are connected to the universal energy of the Divine or to all that is. Focus your awareness on events that have come up recently that remind you of a past experience or event. Look back at the original event with the intention of identifying beliefs or feelings that you may still have about that event. You may feel anger, fear, abandonment. You may feel like a victim. You may feel completely powerless. You may feel intense sadness and disappointment. You may believe that you deserved whatever happened to you. You may have taken on responsibility for something that you didn’t cause.

Whatever the feelings are, take note of them. It helps me to write as I’m exploring, but you do what works for you. (That way, I don’t have to try to remember everything.) Once you’ve identified the feelings or beliefs, explore how you feel about them today. Determine whether you are ready to release them right now. As you consider whether you’re ready, think about how those beliefs or feelings are serving you today. Do they allow you to play small and safe? Do they enable you to avoid making changes you know you need to make? Do they make you feel powerful because your anger is so strong that it drives you to be more today? Determine what is true for you. Ask yourself “is this the highest truth?” Intend that you are able to see the absolute truth if you are ready to do that.

Next, determine how you want to feel. Perhaps you’d like to neutralize the whole event by severing energetic ties to it. You might want to feel love and peace rather than anger and sadness, so forgiveness might be in order. (Remember to forgive yourself as well as anyone else.) You might want to change completely how you view the event and be able to look at it as a gift, rather than a terrible event you can never recover from. It’s up to you how you want to feel. There is no right or wrong answer.

Then, if you are ready to cut the energetic cords that are binding you to these non-serving feelings or beliefs, write or speak out loud “I am ready to cut the energetic cords that bind me to this event for my highest good and for the good of all.” Do this three times. Notice if you have reservations before or during the process. If you do, take a look at what you’re uncomfortable with. If you’re ready, now visualize the non-serving energetic cords that are attached to you and the event being severed, dissolving, going up in flames – whatever works for you to ensure that you know you have released them. As the cords are severed, see the entire situation, including yourself, being covered by the pink light of unconditional love, the green light of healing, the violet light to cleanse karma, and the white light of the Divine. See the light go in, around and through everyone and everything involved. Feel the peace.

If you don’t feel the peace, ask yourself what is still there that you are holding onto. Use that information to begin the process again.

Best of luck! It is my goal to enter into 2010 with less baggage. The new rules in LIFE are just like the new airline policies: it now costs a lot to carry a lot of baggage with you when you travel!!

Resisting Your Highest Good

Do you have places where you are resisting what’s best for you because you have your mind set on something looking a certain way? Lately, I have become aware of some of the places where I am resisting allowing the highest solutions to manifest. I’ve had visions of how I think something should look, and these visions have been set in stone in my mind. We all know that setting something in stone, no matter how wonderful we believe it is, only serves to ensure that it can’t happen any other way and be acceptable.

The reality is that it can happen in an infinite number of ways and be a million times better than the way I’ve imagined it! The reality is that one of those ways might be the way that enables me to make a contact that changes absolutely everything. The reality is that no matter how wonderful I think I am, I will never be as innovative in my head as the universal energy that flows through me when I allow it to.

Resistance always creates an energetic block. When we resist, the energy has to either flow around the block or if the block is large, the energy backs up. Imagine the rocks in a river – the water can’t flow easily downstream; it goes around the rocks or it backs up if the rocks are large. In the physical body, this manifests as discomfort and sometimes full-blown disease. In the emotional/mental body, it is the “stuck” feeling that we sometimes experience. In the spiritual body, it is represented by the illusion of separateness, despite the fact that it is virtually impossible for us to be separate.

The opposite of resistance is surrender. When we surrender to the highest good, the highest thought, the highest vibration, we allow miracles to happen in our lives. EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY, ALWAYS. For as long as we surrender.

Often, we misunderstand what it means to surrender. We think it means to completely give up to the things we don’t want in our lives. We think of the white flag of surrender in battle. In this case, we are simply surrendering to allowing the Divine to work through us in the highest way. We are letting go of the desire that we have to be separate and wonderful and surrendering to the higher desire to be connected to all that is and be magnificent! Sometimes it is a challenge. Our ego wants to feel important and special, and it can feel threatened when we entertain the idea of surrendering to the Divine.

It is important that we not make the ego the trendy new version of the devil. We are better served to partner with the ego and enlist it in the job of surrendering. It will help us if we partner with it. When all of the team members are moving in the same direction, there is no resistance. There is only flow.

We can choose to go with the flow, or we can choose to go against it. But when we choose to go against it, we become like the rocks in a river. As the water flows over their resistant points and edges, it smooths them over time. The energy of the flow is powerful. Though it might not take us with it if we resist, it will eventually smooth the edges to allow everything to be softer and gentler.

Either way, whatever we choose, it’s a beautiful thing.

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